Friday, November 16, 2007

Dear Rita,

I am away at school and live in a co-ed dorm. My boyfriend who lives across the hall and I usually hang out in my room and one of our other neighbors, my friend "Barbara" sometimes hangs out with us too. The thing is that while I really like Barbara when we hang out one on one together, (we talk about and have mutual agreement on moral issues etc.) when my bf is around she seems like a different person. She will come over in a tank top with no bra on, change into next to nothing and while I wouldn't say she is flirting per se, is definitly striking an available pose. It's not just me noticing, my bf and I have laughed about her together, like she'll wear a revealing dress and bend over so if he wanted to he could look down her shirt or see her thong...like, just weird. The thing is we're friends and I know my bf isn't her type...so I just don't get it. What gives?

Baffled by the Broad

Dear Baffled,

Broad is right. The nerve. I wouldn't think this is tricky except that I know someone just like this. Normally I would say, this girl is not your friend. Obviously she is not your best friend but there is nothing wrong with enjoying her company for what it is and spending limited time together- without your boyfriend. "Barbara" is blatantly insecure and needs to be oggled at all times, this is the way she feels validated, by men and even though she may really like you, nothing can stop her from getting that attention, not the humiliation, your friendship, nothing. Maybe she has father issues, who knows. The point is, she's sick in this way. So, I'm going to go with what I do in my situation and what my mother always says, "To make a friend shut one eye, to keep one, shut both" and in your case, shut your bedroom door too.

Rita

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