Dear Rita,
Gag me. I had a dream (nightmare) that I had SEX sitting indian style. INDIAN STYLE with my father-in-law!! He is an old infirm crinkly crank that I take care of day after day and I have no idea how I am ever going to face him again. It was so vivid and gnarly, luckily in the dream he made me wear a pretty blue long tu-tu over my bottom half and that covered the "act" up...so I dont' have to see that in my minds eye, but the rest...disgusting. Help.
Senior Moment
Dear Senior,
As Lional Richie sang...Gag you? Gag ME! Okay, well fortunately you've come to the right place, I happen to have a bit of success with dream analysis. Could it be that you were having sex in the dream while sitting Indian Style because you were tired? And could it be that you were having sex with your old bag father-in-law because you are tired of "fucking the same old thing" day after day? Not sure what the blue tu-tu has to do, maybe you are covering up your boredom with a pretty expression of youth...maybe you need to go to the ballet? Whatever the reason I think it's time to switch up your daddy day care and find something else to turn you on before you go out of your 'fucking' mind.
Rita
Monday, October 29, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Dear Rita,
I'm 24 and in a long term relationship. My fiance and I have been together for three years. Last week I took a pregnancy test and found out its positive and we are not ready for a baby. We are just getting our masters degrees and looking forward to a few years of travel and being together before starting a family. We always use protection but the condom must have broke. I am so confused and depressed. I have always been pro-choice but now that its me in the situation I don't know what to do. Please help.
Bad Timing
Dear Bad,
I'm so sorry to hear of your predicament. There are lots of women who have been in your situation and websites you can check out for support. You and your fiance need to sit down together and go over what terminating this pregnancy will mean or won't mean to both of you. It is not an easy decision but one that is ultimately yours. Adoption is another option. Keeping the baby may also be something you decide to do, going to school full time and being new parents won't be your easiest alternative, in any way, but may be the most rewarding. Depending on how far along you are, these are your three options, find the one you are most comfortable with and don't look back. Good Luck.
Rita
I'm 24 and in a long term relationship. My fiance and I have been together for three years. Last week I took a pregnancy test and found out its positive and we are not ready for a baby. We are just getting our masters degrees and looking forward to a few years of travel and being together before starting a family. We always use protection but the condom must have broke. I am so confused and depressed. I have always been pro-choice but now that its me in the situation I don't know what to do. Please help.
Bad Timing
Dear Bad,
I'm so sorry to hear of your predicament. There are lots of women who have been in your situation and websites you can check out for support. You and your fiance need to sit down together and go over what terminating this pregnancy will mean or won't mean to both of you. It is not an easy decision but one that is ultimately yours. Adoption is another option. Keeping the baby may also be something you decide to do, going to school full time and being new parents won't be your easiest alternative, in any way, but may be the most rewarding. Depending on how far along you are, these are your three options, find the one you are most comfortable with and don't look back. Good Luck.
Rita
Dear Rita,
I'm 18 and a freshmen in college. My roomate and I grew up together and have been friends since nursrey school. Recently, I told her hometown boyfriend who she "loves" that she made out with a fraternity boy who lives down the hall. Her boyfriend was visiting at the time. My friend got so drunk she left her boyfriend in our room by himself all night and forgot about him. THEN she got home and kissed the boy down the hall! I was horrified and told her boyfriend the next morning. She was so upset she passed out, but never got mad at me. I think she was about to -she said "why did you tell him?!" I was like "WHAT?" I mean excuse me, i'm not the one who did anything wrong, so i said "because you did" and she shut up. He broke up with her and I don't feel bad, her fault. But some people here think I did the wrong thing and are given me the cold shoulder. What do you think?
Honest Abe
Dear Abe,
"Snitches get stiches and wind up in ditches". Who are you, the morality police? You're 18- in college! Away from home and rules! Getting drunk and making out is exactly whats supposed to happen! If you were my roomate I'd shortsheet your bed, punch you out and transfer. If you were my life long friend I'd send myself to the psych ward for an evaluation. You sound like a big fat loser with a serious case of jealousy. Leave your poor roomate alone and go get your own life. I hope you have a "friend" like yourself when you mess up in life, so you can see how it feels. But it doesn't sound like friends are in your future. I wish you luck. Asshole.
Rita.
I'm 18 and a freshmen in college. My roomate and I grew up together and have been friends since nursrey school. Recently, I told her hometown boyfriend who she "loves" that she made out with a fraternity boy who lives down the hall. Her boyfriend was visiting at the time. My friend got so drunk she left her boyfriend in our room by himself all night and forgot about him. THEN she got home and kissed the boy down the hall! I was horrified and told her boyfriend the next morning. She was so upset she passed out, but never got mad at me. I think she was about to -she said "why did you tell him?!" I was like "WHAT?" I mean excuse me, i'm not the one who did anything wrong, so i said "because you did" and she shut up. He broke up with her and I don't feel bad, her fault. But some people here think I did the wrong thing and are given me the cold shoulder. What do you think?
Honest Abe
Dear Abe,
"Snitches get stiches and wind up in ditches". Who are you, the morality police? You're 18- in college! Away from home and rules! Getting drunk and making out is exactly whats supposed to happen! If you were my roomate I'd shortsheet your bed, punch you out and transfer. If you were my life long friend I'd send myself to the psych ward for an evaluation. You sound like a big fat loser with a serious case of jealousy. Leave your poor roomate alone and go get your own life. I hope you have a "friend" like yourself when you mess up in life, so you can see how it feels. But it doesn't sound like friends are in your future. I wish you luck. Asshole.
Rita.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Dear Rita,
I've been in and out of the entertainment field for over a decade. More out than in to be honest. Now I am a mother of two living my alternate dream of a healthy family life and very happy...until. I see one of my cohorts on TV or in a movie or on a BLOG. I get so pissed off I just want to rip their smiling faces off the screen and make them poor lonely stamp lickers forever. I hate it and I hate them. Please help me. Help me not hate you.
Going Green
Dear Going Green,
As Crystal Gail sang "Don't it make my brown eyes green" - close enough. Jealousy is an unfortunate yet totally natural expression of your egos or souls longing for something you don't have. The upside is that you are not going green over not being in the NBA but not being on NBC. My point is, its attainable there is no physical reason why you can't make your soul's dream come true or at least keep working at it until you satisfy your ego. And then you can only hate yourself for not trying hard enough and take it out on your kids, which you may have never had a chance to birth had you sacrificed your eggs for the biz. That's gotta feel better. Go get 'em!
Rita
I've been in and out of the entertainment field for over a decade. More out than in to be honest. Now I am a mother of two living my alternate dream of a healthy family life and very happy...until. I see one of my cohorts on TV or in a movie or on a BLOG. I get so pissed off I just want to rip their smiling faces off the screen and make them poor lonely stamp lickers forever. I hate it and I hate them. Please help me. Help me not hate you.
Going Green
Dear Going Green,
As Crystal Gail sang "Don't it make my brown eyes green" - close enough. Jealousy is an unfortunate yet totally natural expression of your egos or souls longing for something you don't have. The upside is that you are not going green over not being in the NBA but not being on NBC. My point is, its attainable there is no physical reason why you can't make your soul's dream come true or at least keep working at it until you satisfy your ego. And then you can only hate yourself for not trying hard enough and take it out on your kids, which you may have never had a chance to birth had you sacrificed your eggs for the biz. That's gotta feel better. Go get 'em!
Rita
Friday, October 19, 2007
Dear Rita,
I have been dating a man 10 years my senior for about 2 months (he's 42 i'm 32). I feel deeply connected to him in a way I haven't felt in years, maybe ever, and he says he feels the same. The sex is/was fantastic! The problem is he sometimes goes hot and cold on me. One second he is planning a future for us and the next he can't seem to pick up the phone or call me back, sometimes for days. Once we made plans for a big romantic weekend (his idea) in Nantucket, (i've never been) and he flat out disappeared. We were set to leave on a Friday and I didn't hear from him until the following Monday. He acted like he totally forgot. I was too embarrassed to call him on it and didn't want to make him leave again when he finally called. He was in such a good mood and so happy to be with me, I decided to let it slide. But he is really is such a great person and I love his style. He always looks impecable and is up on the latest designers and restaurants. I don't want to come off as too needy. Recently we were talking on the phone when he suddenly lost service, he said when he called me back a day later that he had been talking on the subway and I thought that was strange, he wasn't like this before. He remarked that I should feel comfortable now that our relationship is established and to trust it, but I can't help it. He's a catch, how do I keep him?
Joyless D.
Dear Joyless,
Question, are you high all the time or just when you wrote this query? Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let's dig in. Kudos for getting laid, but like the great Maya Angelou said "when someone shows you who they are believe them". Need I say more? I need. He's right, your relationship is established and you should trust it. Trust that WHEN he calls - you come begging- tail wagging, and when he doesn't you'll mope around waiting. Trust that. Because it's never going to change. This is who he is and who you are with him. When you decide to take something as big as blowing you off for an entire weekend, and "let it slide" you are saying you agree with his treatment of you, is that really the message you wanted to give? And what do you mean "he wasn't like this before"...two months is next to nothing, now IS before! This is it. Take it or leave it, he can and he does. I hope that you will care as much about yourself as his appearance and where he can take you and you will move on (heel toe).
I have been dating a man 10 years my senior for about 2 months (he's 42 i'm 32). I feel deeply connected to him in a way I haven't felt in years, maybe ever, and he says he feels the same. The sex is/was fantastic! The problem is he sometimes goes hot and cold on me. One second he is planning a future for us and the next he can't seem to pick up the phone or call me back, sometimes for days. Once we made plans for a big romantic weekend (his idea) in Nantucket, (i've never been) and he flat out disappeared. We were set to leave on a Friday and I didn't hear from him until the following Monday. He acted like he totally forgot. I was too embarrassed to call him on it and didn't want to make him leave again when he finally called. He was in such a good mood and so happy to be with me, I decided to let it slide. But he is really is such a great person and I love his style. He always looks impecable and is up on the latest designers and restaurants. I don't want to come off as too needy. Recently we were talking on the phone when he suddenly lost service, he said when he called me back a day later that he had been talking on the subway and I thought that was strange, he wasn't like this before. He remarked that I should feel comfortable now that our relationship is established and to trust it, but I can't help it. He's a catch, how do I keep him?
Joyless D.
Dear Joyless,
Question, are you high all the time or just when you wrote this query? Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let's dig in. Kudos for getting laid, but like the great Maya Angelou said "when someone shows you who they are believe them". Need I say more? I need. He's right, your relationship is established and you should trust it. Trust that WHEN he calls - you come begging- tail wagging, and when he doesn't you'll mope around waiting. Trust that. Because it's never going to change. This is who he is and who you are with him. When you decide to take something as big as blowing you off for an entire weekend, and "let it slide" you are saying you agree with his treatment of you, is that really the message you wanted to give? And what do you mean "he wasn't like this before"...two months is next to nothing, now IS before! This is it. Take it or leave it, he can and he does. I hope that you will care as much about yourself as his appearance and where he can take you and you will move on (heel toe).
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